Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
