I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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