What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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