I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
