WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
