I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
