My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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