A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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