i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
did you just send me my own nude
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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