that's an acceptable place to lick
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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