This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
