My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
