So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
