you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
