I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?