So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
