i just identified you from a description of your pipe
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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