I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
