I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm like, not good at living.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
