you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also, beer. Big fan.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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