Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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