...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
