i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
