i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
