Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
