Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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