DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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