EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
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THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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