lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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