I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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