have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
