dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When are your genitals available?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
