she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
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I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
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I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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