Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
