Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Blood and glitter go together right?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
