For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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