: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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