For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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