well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
