I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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