I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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