yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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