your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wish I could teleport
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
