just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
