just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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