theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
