I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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