She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
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My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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