No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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