They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
