My nipple is on Facebook.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
